literature

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Literature Text

What do you do when the pain
Creeps into your brain?
Leaving behind the wreckage - 
Ripping out  your "sane"
How do you maintain
The strength from day to day

With the force that you hate
One day you'll fall on your face
A disgrace, replace the evil displaced
I didn't fall, I was pushed;
That's how I "fell" from grace
I asked a friend, he didn't like the second part. What do you guys think?
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Comments3
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StoryTellingChoir's avatar
I like the second part, but I think the connection between the first and the second isn't as gracious or completed as it could be... I like the idea of it, going from strength to force, but there is something about the way it is phrased that seems off. 

About the second part, I really like how you took an expression and flipped it from "falling" to being "pushed". That was a really clever move I enjoy to see.